Monday 12 March 2012

An Inspector Calls (from Madrid)

On Friday, I had a rather interesting, if infuriating, experience. I was subjected to some uncouth official from Madrid on the phone treating me as though I was incompetent. That fact in itself is probably hardly surprising to most of you, but permit me to explain: the reason why I was so rudely spoken to was that I had answered the phone - may my eyes bleed and tongue be ripped from its root for this heinous crime - in Catalan.

Many Catalans have had to put up with a lot worse; I shouldn't complain. But it illustrates the point rather deftly that one doesn't even have to be Catalan to be discriminated against from those in central government; one has to merely speak the language and you are treated like filth, animals, or a mindless buffoon.....
I am now going to write up the transcript of the phone conversation as it happened on Friday 9th March 2012, and you judge for yourselves:

Me:            Hola, 'Speak and Spell'?
Official:      Cristina Canamases?
Me:            No hi és ara mateix però vindrà cap a les 5 si vol tornar a trucar... 
                 [Catalan for 'She isn't here at the moment but she'll be here at about 5 if you want to call back...']

Official:      No le entiendo.
                  [Spanish for 'I don't understand you.']

- short pause -

Me:           Cristina no está aquí ahora....
- interrupting -
Official:     Do you-ah speak Espanish?

- pause -

Me:           Sí. 
Official:     Vale, coja usted un papel y un bolígrafo y apunta unos números. Sabe usted els números en español? 
                 [Spanish - 'Ok, get some paper and a pen and take down these numbers. Do you know the numbers in Spanish?]


- pause -

Me:          Sí.
Official:    Tiene el boli y papel? 
                  [Do you have the pen and paper?]
Me:          Sí, sí que los tengo.  
                 [Yes, I've got them.]
Official:    Apúnte:  noventa i uno-nueve once-zero zero-doce. Repítemelo.
                 [Write: 919 110 012. Repeat that back to me.]
Me:         Nueve-uno-nueve uno-uno-zero zero-uno-dos. [919 110 012]

Official:   Es muy urgente que Cristina me llame en cuanto posible; hoy, me entiende usted? Muy  urgente! 
               [It's very important Cristina calls me as soon as possible; today, do you understand? Urgent!]

Me:        Sí, se lo diré.     
               [Yes, I'll tell her.]
Official:   Bién. Hasta luego.
               [Good. Bye.]

What you don't get in this transcript is the tone of dripping sarcasm and utter contempt, simply because my Spanish is a little rusty (especially when I'm not prepared to use it). Why he feels that I would be inferior to him is beyond me: I can count in three different languages, I'll have him know! If only I'd had the quickness of mind to say that to him; if only I'd had the audacity to say from the very beginning that I didn't speak Spanish and only knew Catalan..... but, I confess, I'm not good with confrontation. I do wish I'd told him where to shove the pen, though.

I also hope you'll notice the complete lack of manners and 'thank-yous' in that conversation. Obviously, I had no reason to be affable or give any thanks to him but the other way round, I think yes. Interrupting me? Treating me like an idiot who can't count? Making me repeat numbers back to him?! I hope one day he's savaged by a stack of paper-clips and staplers or strangled by the telephone wire...

In all seriousness, though, if this is how central government or, indeed, other people from Madrid treat the Catalans, then no wonder they want independence! No wonder they dislike those obnoxious, narrow-minded, culture-trouncing prats! What else can they expect when they immediately raise themselves (in their own estimation) above the Catalans?
I have to say I do love the Spanish language, and I know they all can't be tarred with the same brush. But that madrileño has thoroughly pissed me off.  

Visca Catalunya!

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